Dear friends,
I grew up with large family seders where over seventy people came together. Weeks before Passover, my grandmother would labor over the list of attendees – making sure every aunt, uncle, cousin, second-cousin and third-cousin twice removed would be there.
I remember going over to my grandparent’s house the weeks before Passover and seeing legal pads with my grandmother’s meticulous notes about who was attending, what we were eating and well beyond.
My grandfather (Papa Manny) would lead the seders – which basically meant that he would yell out the names of various family members and then those family members would read randomly from the Hagaddah. I can still hear my grandfather’s voice –
Papa Manny: “Alan!”
Alan Leikin: “The Israelites were slaves in Egypt…”
Papa Manny: “Joe!”
Joe Adelman: “These are the ten plagues that…
Papa Manny: Okay everyone, time to sing Dayeinu!
As my grandmother became older and more frail, as older family members passed away and younger family members took less interest in staying in touch, those seders began to get smaller.
I remember one year, after my grandmother had died, I found myself around a kitchen table with only my parents, my brother, and my grandfather – sadly realizing that the days of large family seders were over. The American Jewish family had changed – Jewish holidays no longer inspired these large family gatherings – Passover was now a small affair with a few of us pondering the meaning of freedom together in the kitchen.
Today, as antisemitism is having a revival, as Israel faces wars on so many fronts, as our kids question their Jewish identity, I find myself mourning the loss of connections between Jewish families and the loss of those massively large family seders (although I do love my family seder!)
Connections are integral to our future as a people – we need to feel a sense that we belong to something bigger than us. As Jews especially, we need a sense that there is a Jewish people beyond just the few who live in our homes or the few who gather with us at seders and at holidays (however nice and intimate that may be)
This is why the synagogue is so important to modern Jewish life. The synagogue is what allows for the kind of Jewish gathering that once took place amongst large families.
On Tuesday evening, Temple Beth Sholom will be having a seder with nearly 90 people in attendance. For me personally, this will be the largest seder I have been at since I was about ten years old. I am looking forward to it not only for childhood nostalgia, but also because I believe the seder ritual is meant to be observed in this fashion. Passover is a time in which we are meant to gather in large and diverse groups, to tell our story and to collectively feel the obligations and responsibilities of our history – especially today, being together in this kind of group is so important.
I want to wish all of you a sweet and a meaningful Pesach – a holiday full of hope and meaning and renewal – may this season inspire us to care about those who remain enslaved today– whether they be hostages in Gaza, those enslaved by poverty, famine and economic hardship, or those enslaved by their own stubborn hearts, may we do all we can to bring this world needed renewal and may the year ahead bring us together more often.
Zissen Pesach!!
Rabbi
